If you will be given a chance to choose how you would lose someone, would you want it to be done abruptly, or slowly?
But if you really think about it, isn’t living your day to day life supposed to be your way of ‘slowly’ accepting that someday, sooner or later, you are going to lose all the people you love? That’s the finality of life whether we like it or not. Because everything is temporary. Even your existence is.
So as much as I can, I try to live my daily life thinking it can be my or anyone’s last day. Because I don’t want to regret not having the chance to say I love someone. Because I know that no matter how hard I try to ask or even pray for it every day, I won’t get another day with the people I already lost.
I just have to trust in His plans, right? I just have to have faith in Him and believe that He knows what He is doing. That everything will be okay.
But. 9th Mother’s Day without my own mom to greet. I still miss you everyday. Everyday it still hurts like it was just yesterday. And everyday I still pray for just one more day with you. 😥
Everything will be okay. Repeat until true. Maybe not today, but someday everything will make sense.
What is the better word to pair this with than love? But for me I believe otherwise. Because when it is real, you look beyond the flaws and imperfections. You see all the good and the bad and accept them. You realize the fears and insecurities and do everything to overcome them.
Love is not blind but it is the opposite. Because love is all-seeing. And that is what makes love real though it is not perfect.
It is the truth, but the opposite of safe
It is safe, but the opposite of living
It is life, but the opposite of reality
It is reality, reality in your own world.
What is it?
Thank you for being my light at night
Thank you for being my sunshine when it rained
Thank you for making me smile even before the first tear escaped my eye
Thank you for believing in me when I doubted myself
Thank you for guiding me when I didn’t know which path to take
Thank you for taking my hand every time I fell
Thank you for being there for me when everyone left
And today I realized
Maybe I just saw what I wanted to see
Maybe I just felt what I needed to feel
But in reality, everything was just an illusion
Perfect scenarios I created in my mind
Because now you will be the one to leave
And I will be left alone again
At the center of this one large crowd
With only myself to depend on
Now I feel even more lost than before you found me
I am this confused about my feelings that I had to check the dictionary to know the difference between love and like.
Surprise surprise. I still don’t get it. I don’t understand whatever this is I am feeling. All I know is that this isn’t normal.
So there is this one person whom I enjoy being with. I don’t remember how it started. I just know that I woke up one morning looking forward to workdays because I got to see that person. I got to talk to that person.
I know this isn’t right and that I shouldn’t be feeling this way towards that person. Maybe this is just some special kind of friendship? But whatever this is, I will feel this even when I can’t, even if I can’t, even if I shouldn’t.