2017 went by so fast with me living my everyday life just because I had to. I was forced to do things I thought I was supposed to do. Looking back, I never really did something extraordinary this year. I was like a lost soul knocking on every door I could find, not really knowing what I was looking for.
When 2016 ended, I thought I was gonna be able to spread my wings and soar high. Unfortunately, this year didn’t start well for me. I let myself drown in my emotions. I poured liquor over the broken pieces of my heart praying to all the gods it would heal. I tried to ask the world to stop spinning for a while just because I wanted to stay deep in my own thoughts not fearing that everyone would go on with their own lives and eventually would forget about me. But after months of unconsciously ruining my life, again, I distanced myself from the people I cared about. At that time, I thought it was the only way to save them from me. I was so broken that I became selfish and selfless at the same time. Just like the previous year, I lost a few, but those who truly mattered were still there when I reached the end of the tunnel. And along the way, I gained new gems I knew I’d forever treasure. Among these gems, one stood out.
But for the past two weeks, I have been tempted to drop this most important gem I found, out of fear that it might be just another broken glass that would hurt me. Or maybe the other way around. I honestly don’t know where to go from here. Until now, I am still not sure if I am already standing at the end of the tunnel. There can be another one a few steps ahead of me. But I wouldn’t know that unless I continue walking. The only question I have in mind is, will I bring this gem along with me? Or should I just face this journey alone?
P.S. It’s already 2:43AM from where I am. And while writing this, I put Spotify on shuffle and the song ‘Don’t Say Goodbye, Say Goodnight’ started to play. Is the universe telling me something?
Another note: I took that picture so that’s not me in it, that’s my Aunt.
Cheers to another ending and a new beginning.