Deafening Silence

I’ve already lived 1/3 of my life without you. If I can just put my life on hold so I won’t have to live the rest of it without you by my side, I will. I don’t want to ever forget what you looked like. And I sometimes secretly wish that somewhere in a parallel universe, I still have you. But in this lifetime and universe I am now, the only choice I have is to live with the pain knowing that I won’t ever get to see you again. Because I don’t wanna move on. I don’t wanna forget.

Sometimes I feel like I can get through whatever life throws at me because I already survived my greatest fear, that is losing you. But I know in losing you, I gained my personal guardian angel.

Happy birthday Mother!




Tired of Meaningless Conversations

I am really not good at starting conversations, much less keeping a good one. I am not fond of the how-are-yous, weather talks and all the other simple conversations you usually can have with strangers. Sometimes I feel like I am too old and tired of all the getting-to-know-you meet ups. More often than not, I enjoy being just by myself. Be it strolling around malls, reading a book at my favorite cafe, or just staying at home thinking about life. Good thing is, the old people in my life know and understand this. I don’t feel the need to explain myself to them every time I decline their invites for parties. I don’t have to feel sorry for choosing to spend my afternoons alone than hang out with them. I suck at meeting new people for these reasons. And I don’t have a problem with that. I’d rather be alone or go out with the old people in my life from time to time than try to explain to other people why I am like this only for them to mock me for not being good at socializing with others.

But I am good at having deep conversations about love, and life in general… I can also do good if you just need someone to be quiet with. That I can proudly say about myself.

Am I the only one who has this personality? Because I once tried to explain it to a friend of a friend and she just told me I was being crazy. I stopped talking to her after that. 😪

Hello And Goodbye💕

It’s officially 2018 from where I am. I know I’ve been saying this since I started this blog, but this year, I promise to try to write every day.

So these are my goals this year

  • Eat healthy
  • Exercise regularly
  • SAVE!
  • Learn photography
  • READ
  • Love myself💕

I know this New Year is just a dimension that really has no effect in our daily lives. The sun is still going to rise in the same direction. The earth still rotates at the same speed. There’s still going to be sunny days and rainy days. And if we want to make a change, we should do it the moment we think about it. But, it is still kind of nice to think of entering this ‘New Year’ with a clean slate. Like somehow pressing a restart button in our lives where we get to refresh everything without forgetting what we have already learned from the previous years.

So cheers, 2018! I’ll move forward to this year carrying with me all the memories and lessons from the previous 27 years I have lived. 💕

Thank you, 2017, for everything💕