I Forgive You Without You Asking For It

That day started like any other normal day for us. We went home from work at 7 in the morning. Yup. You read it right. Morning.

When you dropped me off at home, I didn’t sleep right away. Because that was what I used to do. To wait for you to get home so we could sleep at the same time. Then there was our usual exchange of I love you’s.

I woke up early. At around 1 in the afternoon. There was still no message from you so I assumed you were still sleeping. I sent you a text telling you I wouldn’t be able to report to work that day. I wasn’t feeling well. I even asked you a favor to call AbsenceCare to inform them I was calling in sick. And when you woke up, it was the first thing you did.

You left home at around 4 in the afternoon. We were still talking. And I went out of the house for the first time that day to buy myself food. I asked you a question. It was nothing big of a deal. To be honest, I don’t even remember the stupid question now. It was that nonsense. But I got irritated at you for not answering it. I knew then, and I know now, that it was wrong of me to get irritated at you for it. And I apologized to you right away. But somehow it affected you much to not talk to me the rest of the day. I apologized too many time but you were really hard-headed. You didn’t talk to me. I waited all night for you to soften up a little. But you were plain cold. I waited until around three in the morning. I was just fighting off sleepiness. I tried to stay awake waiting for you to accept my apology. But after trying so hard, I finally gave up. I slept that night, (or morning? Or dawn?) with us not being okay. And it hurt me that you seemed just fine.

Your coldness went on until the following day. You barely talked to me. But some time in the evening, I finally convinced you to meet me. I was hoping you would be okay once you saw me. But I was wrong. You were still emotionless. Until you finally broke up with me. You told me you didn’t love me anymore. It seemed easy for you, like it was just a normal thing to do. I didn’t want to believe all the words I was hearing from you. But I saw everything in your eyes. All the love was gone.

I got up from the chair and walked out of the room. And you just watched me walk out of your life, forever. You didn’t run after me. You were never sorry for the hurtful things you said to me.

Until now, I still don’t know what happened to you, to us. But I forgive you. Even if you didn’t ask for it. Even if I am not sure if you deserve it. I am doing this not only for you, but more for myself.

I don’t know where I got the strength to walk away from you that night. But I guess it was just the right thing to do. Everything happens for a reason. And I still believe I am where I am supposed to be right now. We always are.


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