Just today, I saw the film Sing‘s trailer. And I already liked it. Planning on watching it at the cinema, alone maybe? (Next would be La La Land) Any reviews on these movies? Lol
So anyway, there is this one line from the trailer that really caught my attention.
You know what is great about hitting rock bottom? There is only one way left to go. And that is UP.
Amazing, right? And I couldn’t agree with it more.
As what I have been reiterating, 2016 has been one of the worst years in my entire 26 years of existence. I was lost and I did not know what to do with my life anymore. Surprisingly, ending it did not occur on my mind. I was not as depressed as I had been the year I lost my mom. But I would say, I was at the lowest point of my life. Yeah, I hit rock bottom. And they say that when you come to this point in your life, you have two options. It is either you stay there, or choose the other way which is UP.
For weeks, I chose to stay at the bottom. I lay down on the rocks and tasted the ground. I saw the shattered pieces of myself scattered around me. But I didn’t have the courage to get up and pick them up. Hell I didn’t even try to reach for them. I thought I needed help, and who can better help me than the same person who dropped me in this dark hole, right? It sucked the remaining little amount of happiness and life out of me. I kept on waiting for him to come back and pick me up. Weeks passed. Still nothing, no one came. Took me a while to realize that the only person who could help me, was ME. It took me a lot of effort to drag myself out of that dirt. But it was still something, right? Realizing I had to help myself was the first step towards getting better, feeling better.
Slowly, I worked my way out of the dark pit. Relying on my strength, I carefully climbed the ladder that I built. Not gonna take full credits for it though. My best friend and my family played a big role too. They all respected the privacy that I needed and trusted me that I can get myself out of this situation, like what I have always done before. Being with the right people really helps. And yes, I am proud to say that in the last few days of 2016, I was able to pick some of my pieces up. I was ecstatic about the coming year. The things that I could do. Places I would love to visit. Then there was my plan to live healthy. Suddenly I was full of passion. I wanted to do more. I wanted to do better. I wanted to be better.
And then I stumbled upon Alisha‘s (Yep, saw your name on your Twitter account and actually followed you there and on IG. Hope that was okay since you posted it on your blog?) post regarding her online Creative Writing classes. I have been wanting to enroll in online classes too. But it was only during that moment when I said to myself, maybe it was time to finally do something about it. I tried Full Sail University, but there was still an additional exam for us residing in the Philippines that we should take in order to be eligible to enroll in the said course. So I looked for other online sites and luckily, I found a lot. There was Coursera, Udemy and Alison. The first two also happened to have mobile applications available for iOS. I am just not sure if they have it on other systems too. I purchased two courses from Udemy, and I am currently taking Diploma in English Language and Literature in Alison.
I don’t want to be the person who just keeps on saying the things s/he loves without making an effort to see it happen. I had no control over the things that happened to me, no way I could control my ex boyfriend’s actions and emotions, I couldn’t question God when he took my Aunt from us, but these, the things that I am passionate about, I have control over these things.
I know this is just the beginning. I have not yet fully recovered but I know I am on my way there. I am just taking everything one day at a time. And I am in no hurry. I believe there is no need to rush. I am wherever I am supposed to be right now. And I will be wherever I deserve to be with who I deserve to be with in the right time.
Way to go! 🙂
P.S. I have been reading Eat Pray Love and I can totally relate to this line:
If you sense a faint of happiness after such dark times you must grab on to the ankles of that happiness and not let go until it drags you face-first out of the dirt – this is not selfishness, but obligation. You were given life, it is your duty (and also your entitlement as a human being) to find something beautiful within life, no matter how slight.