It’s Christmas Season once again. Or maybe for those who don’t celebrate it, it’s just the holiday season. I’ve always been fond of this season. And it’s actually my favorite time of the year. I don’t know if this is just psychological, but it’s the season when I feel calm. It’s like there’s peace everywhere. My heart is full of joy. Everyone’s face is painted with smiles. There are lights everywhere.
Ever since I have heard of the light show at Ayala Triangle, I’ve always wanted to go there. But last year, I never had the chance to see the show because of my busy schedule. My ex-boyfriend-but-then-suitor and I planned to watch the show but we never really had the chance to. We were both busy with work. And he, we, promised to ourselves that this year, we’ll make time to go and see the light show. But just as the Christmas season started, we broke up. It’s been almost three months since that day. Until now, I can’t say that I’m totally over him. But I know I am definitely better than I was a month ago.
I went to Ayala Triangle today. At first I was with my cousins. We stayed there for like an hour then went to McDonald’s just across the Triangle to have our dinner. After our dinner, my cousins went straight home. I was left at Ayala. I decided to stay a little longer and watch another light show. What I felt during the show were mixed emotions. It was nice and heartwarming to see the looks on the faces of the people there. They were all happy. There were families dancing around their grandmother who was seated in a wheelchair. There were couples taking pictures of themselves. Friends who were taking selfies in front of the changing colors of the lights. And then there were others like me, alone, but definitely not lonely.
Tonight I realized that just because he was gone doesn’t mean I can no longer do the things that I promised myself I would do. I have my family and friends who love me. And I always have myself to depend on.
I can still be happy even without him, without his love, because the love that I need is not always about romantic and in-between-couples kind of love only; the love I have for myself is enough to get me going.