Today has been a roller-coaster of emotions, with the extremes. I started the day feeling just fine. Though I opened my Timehop and was kinda disappointed with what I saw. I mean, it’s sad realizing how totally different things were this day last year. Like there were things and people and feelings I never thought I would lose. But I guess that’s just how things work. Nobody can really say what’s gonna happen tomorrow. And sometimes anticipation kills us. Our fear of the unknown eats us up. But isn’t that the beauty of it? We get to appreciate what’s in front of us, NOW. And it was a good thing I didn’t bring my disappointment at work. Well at least I can say that was the case during the first half of my stay at the office.
Middle of the day, our manager invited me for a one-on-one talk. Well, we all know what it was for. Decision for promotion. I didn’t really know what to expect. I guess that’s why I was not really saddened when he told me I won’t be promoted. After our talk, my team and I went out to see Fantastic Beasts and Where To Find Them. It was nice. I enjoyed it, made me wanna re-watch all the Harry Potter movies and re-read all Harry Potter books. I’ll give that time maybe this coming weekend.
Everything was fine. Until I came home. It was when reality hit me. And it hit me hard. I knew I was not okay, I just didn’t know how to let it out. I talked to three of my closest friends, and still nothing. But when I talked to my ex boyfriend, that’s when all the tears fell from my eyes. I felt it all at once. The disappointment, the sadness. I wasn’t even sure what was causing the sadness. The fact that I wasn’t promoted, or that because I missed him. Or maybe I was thinking if we were still together, I would be crying on his shoulders right now.
And my question now is: when will 24 hours be enough? -_-