Letting You Go

It hurt when I looked at you and saw that you were okay. There wasn’t even a trace of sadness in your eyes. You were still smiling like you used to. Didn’t it hurt, even just a little? Why was it so easy for you to let go of everything we had? How could you act like everything was okay, when you knew I was hurting so bad? 

You told me we could be friends. But only if I won’t hope for something more. I thought I could. I thought I could talk to you casually like we weren’t past lovers. I thought I could go out with you like you never hurt me. But I can’t. Because I know that if I’d do it, I would still hope that one day you’d remember why you loved me, that the feeling would come back. 

No matter how many times you told me it won’t happen, no matter how many times you told me you didn’t love me anymore, I still hope that one day you’ll wake up missing me. I still hope that one day you’ll wake up with a hole in your heart that only I could fill. I still hope that one day you’ll wake up looking for my morning texts. I still hope that one day you’ll wake up realizing that you still love me and that you were wrong to let me go. 

And I pray that if that day comes I still love you. I pray that if that day comes there won’t be anger in my heart so that I could still welcome you in my life. 

I pray that one day you’ll come back. But, please, pray for me. So that I could accept it and finally move on without you in my life. Please pray for me. Because I can’t do it for myself.

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