For the times I am quiet, there are mixed emotions I am feeling that I can’t or don’t know how to say
For the times you see me stare at nothing, my mind is wandering to that night when you left me alone and shattered
For the times I look straight at you and say nothing, I am wondering how you were able to tell me we were over with that same look on your face
For the times you hold my hand and I hesitate, I am feeling the pain I felt when I held you and you pulled away
For the times you hug me and I can’t hug you back, I am remembering how it hurt me when I hugged you and you pushed me away
For the times I close my eyes, I am holding back the tears so you won’t see me crying again… So you won’t know I am hurting… So you won’t notice I am not okay…
And for the times when you observe one of these, remember I am enduring all the pain because I love you.
I will continue loving you until I can. I will continue loving you until and even more so after all my wounds are healed. I will continue loving you until there’s no pain left. I will continue loving you until I can love you again without hesitation and without doubts.
But until then, let me love you with all that’s left of me.