I’ve been very busy with work lately that I don’t even have time to open my personal laptop. What kind of a life do I even have? Spending most of the day at the office. Going home after my shift just in time for bed. I never have experienced waking up in the morning feeling really awake, like just having enough hours of sleep. Who wants this kind of life anyway?
I’ve been thinking of changing my profession. I actually have an endless list of things that I want to do and I want to be. They are so many that I don’t even know what to do first.
I want to have my own space already. I want to be on my own. I want to start building my own life.
I also want to travel, hoping that I’d find myself in the places I plan on going to. I want to do photography. I want to write and read and watch movies and series. But I don’t have time for all of these. Nor just one. Hell I can’t even give time for this blog sh*t.
I know people always say when you really want something, you gotta find a way to do or have it. But what if it just seems that the whole universe is against you? How can I find time for my hobbies when I don’t even get to have enough sleep everyday? How can I travel when I don’t even have enough money to quit my job and just wander? How can I find a place I want to settle in when I don’t even know where I want to spend the rest of my life in?
I feel like I’m just a lost soul, being enslaved by the world. I wake up everyday doing things only because I’m forced to, not because I want to.
So is midlife crisis for real? Is this what I am having right now? I feel like I’m going crazy already.