I know it’s there…

I’ve been walking in this tunnel for too long already. And I’m tired. I don’t even know what’s waiting for me at the end of this. I have no idea how long I still have to walk before I reach the opening on the other end. But I know I’ve already walked too far to just go back.

Sometimes I stop for a rest. There are even times when I look back and see a flicker of light from where I come from. And in those rare times, I am tempted to run back… To see if there’s still hope for me to find the happiness that I left when I walked away and decided to go into the unknown. 

But along the way, even in the darkness, I see flowers and butterflies. But I feel like I don’t need them and that they don’t need me, too. I don’t touch them, nor even stare for too long. I’m afraid that if I do, I won’t be able to resist my urge to pick them up. I don’t wanna see their beauty fade. I’d rather go on this journey alone than to have them company for a short period of time only. 

But… They’re begging for my attention. They’re waiting for me to touch them. And I’m determined not to do it. I don’t wanna hurt them. And I don’t wanna hurt myself too. I’ve had enough pain already and with so much that’s going on in my life right now, I don’t think I’d still be able to handle distractions. 

I will wait for the right time to come. I will focus myself on achieving my goals. And for now, that’s to see the light that’s waiting for me on the other end of this God-only-knows-how-long dark tunnel. I know I can do this. I don’t need anybody else to help me get through this. I have to be brave enough to face this on my own.

I know it’s there… I just have to keep on walking. Someday I’ll find that light again. I’m doing this for myself because I know I deserve to see the world that’s as bright as what my smile will be on that day. 

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5 thoughts on “I know it’s there…

  1. dreamingbw says:

    I relate so well to that. Best of luck to you on your own journey. I sincerely wish you to find the right, painless way to walk that path and learn whatever you might need to feel better!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you so much. Sometimes I wish all this pain would go away in just a blink of an eye. But it’s been here for months already. And here I am still alive. I’m still breathing. If I’ve made it this far, I believe, well I have to, I’m gonna make it until the end. 🙂

      Like

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