I’ve been walking in this tunnel for too long already. And I’m tired. I don’t even know what’s waiting for me at the end of this. I have no idea how long I still have to walk before I reach the opening on the other end. But I know I’ve already walked too far to just go back.
Sometimes I stop for a rest. There are even times when I look back and see a flicker of light from where I come from. And in those rare times, I am tempted to run back… To see if there’s still hope for me to find the happiness that I left when I walked away and decided to go into the unknown.
But along the way, even in the darkness, I see flowers and butterflies. But I feel like I don’t need them and that they don’t need me, too. I don’t touch them, nor even stare for too long. I’m afraid that if I do, I won’t be able to resist my urge to pick them up. I don’t wanna see their beauty fade. I’d rather go on this journey alone than to have them company for a short period of time only.
But… They’re begging for my attention. They’re waiting for me to touch them. And I’m determined not to do it. I don’t wanna hurt them. And I don’t wanna hurt myself too. I’ve had enough pain already and with so much that’s going on in my life right now, I don’t think I’d still be able to handle distractions.
I will wait for the right time to come. I will focus myself on achieving my goals. And for now, that’s to see the light that’s waiting for me on the other end of this God-only-knows-how-long dark tunnel. I know I can do this. I don’t need anybody else to help me get through this. I have to be brave enough to face this on my own.
I know it’s there… I just have to keep on walking. Someday I’ll find that light again. I’m doing this for myself because I know I deserve to see the world that’s as bright as what my smile will be on that day.