Just Friends

I always hear people say friends can be lovers but lovers can never go back to being just friends. Especially right after the breakup.

I’ve never been friends with any of my exes… Until Marc happened. Yep. He’s been named! At last! That’s the name of the guy I’ve been talking about. 

Three months ago, he told me he cheated on me, that he’d been going out with another woman. It was past tense ’cause according to him it was over. Before that night, I was okay with him going to Ballpark Village every Friday night, whether he did it with friends or alone. I didn’t care. Because I trusted him. But ever since he admitted that to me, our relationship had been rocky. I still tried. It was just hard for me to trust him again. And I felt he became distant. He changed. And I’d been telling him to just stop talking to me but he never did. 

Exactly a month after that night, I told him that maybe it would be better for both of us to just end our relationship. I begged him to stop talking to me. And so he did. He stopped sending me sweet text messages. The calls never came again. But after two nights, he apologized to me. But he told me he didn’t deserve my love. And that I deserved someone better. BS right? Who was he to decide who I should give my love to? So for a month, we barely talked. 

I went through what they say different stages of grief. But I never came to the last stage, which was acceptance. 

And now. We’re friends again. We talk regularly, just like before. It’s like we’re back to being ‘best friends’. Is it weird? I’m totally fine with this. I mean I’d rather be friends with him again(though I know there’s a chance that this will keep me again from moving on) than not have him at all. 

I honestly don’t know what to feel. I know I’m okay. But not sure if I’m okay like okay that we’re friends or I’m okay like okay because I’m still hoping that since we’re talking again maybe he’ll realize he still loves me. 

What do I do? I’m confused af. 

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2 thoughts on “Just Friends

  1. Listen to your heart. If he cheated once, he might cheat again, but maybe not. Stay open to healing you and loving YOU! That’s been my biggest lesson, learning to love me and thus take better care if me and not allow others to treat me poorly, attract people who will honor me.

    Best wishes!

    Liked by 1 person

    • I think I’ll just go with the flow. But I’ll be more guarded now. I mean. If he wants us to be friends then we’re friends. If he wants something more than that, then he has to work hard for it. 🙂

      Liked by 2 people

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